Miscommunication between man and women

Nowadays men and women are equal but women have not always had the same status as men. I think we can all agree that this is a positive change. But the fact remains that there are gender differences in appearance, behavior and communication. It is striking that men and women in many situations, adopt different attitudes and gestures.

One of the reasons that communication between men and women often do not go well is because of the different point of view. Women usually talk out their feelings and forget to say which needs are behind this feeling. For example, a woman says to her husband: “I feel so alone” (she expects that he will understand that she likes it when he stays home tonight) The man would say; “Call a friend or grab or watch a movie”. The woman can then be disappointed, misunderstood and even lonelier.

Men talk mostly from their needs, and forget to explain the feelings hiding behind these needs. For example, a man says; “I want you to stay at home tonight (he expects that she will understand that he feels alone) on the other hand, the women may say. “Well, I decided to go out for a drink. In this case the man can be disappointed.

In conclusion, if men will express their feeling behind their needs more and women will speak out their needs behind their feelings more, they both can feel much more understood.

The communication of women is to maintain relationships; communication to men is for implantation and accomplishments of tasks. For women, the relationship is more important than the content, they focus more on maintaining the relationship, they are helpful and are happy to assist one another. Women are better talkers than men and do so much more than men. They like to build an exciting story around the existing facts. Therefore, they say something they have experienced from the beginning to the end and keep the punch line for last. When they talk about their problems, they expect their partner mostly to listen instead of bringing a quick solution. Also, they are very interested in the nonverbal messages and they focus on atmosphere and emotion. Themselves, they use a lot of facial expressions and gestures to make their intentions clear. They assess the situation not only the facts but also on their feelings and ‘feminine’ intuition. Women have a better overview and are more relationship (team) focused.

“Perhaps that makes us better managers”

A study by Deborah Tannen provides the different styles of communication between men and women. Men tend to speak more in public places, however, women speak more at home. Women are more intimate with each other and make eye contact when they talk to each other, while men tend to look at each other less. Women can detail about a subject, while man jump more from topic to topic. When women are listening, they make more sounds like “mhm, uhu”. However, not all research supports these results.

Do we speak the same language?

Men and women may think they speak the same language, but our words have completely different meaning. Men use them for communication and information. For women it is a means to solve problems, reduce stress, feel better, and create emotional ties to stimulate creativity and new ideas. Women pursue certain rituals that men do not know. For example, apologies are not to admit guilt, but to clarify: I’m sorry that this happened to you.

Move your hand in the world of the opposite sex, and then communication will be successful.

Tips for men
Ask specific questions showing that you know what she is doing.
Make eye contact when she talks to you or shake your hand.
If you say you'll do something, make sure you do it.
Create a reassuring gesture if they do something wrong.
If a discussion of the emotions up, then read a pause.

Tips for women
Only complain if you can imagine a solution.
Give a man always credit and recognition if he has achieved something.
Be optimistic about his chances of success.
Do not put an expert to come to him to point out errors.
Try to say no in a nice way.